The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 5

In a previous post, I covered Xena: Warrior Princess‘ final season. Here, I continue with Season 5.

(“People Got To Be Free” looks like it came off of Queer as Folk, with a little less budget.)

 

The Best:

Fallen Angel, Chakram, Them Bones Them Bones, Purity, Back in the Bottle, God Fearing Child, Eternal Bonds, Amphipolis Under Siege, Lifeblood, Looking Death in the Eye, Livia, Eve, and Motherhood

Eve_liviacatcheschakram

In bits:

  • Fallen Angel sees Xena and Gabrielle in Heaven after being crucified, however, in Hell, Callisto leads a band of demons;
  • In Chakram, after Xena’s resurrection, she has no memory of her life, and to get the memories back, she must find the Chakram of Light;
  • Them Bones, Them Bones features the reurn of Alti, who has been harming Xena’s baby in the spirit world;
  • Purity features the twin daughters of Lao Ma in Chin, Pao Ssu and K’ao Hsin, the latter who wants to know the secret of black powder and rule Chin;
  • Back in the Bottle sees Pao Ssu’s spirit team up with Ming T’ien’s spirit aligned with Khan and his army to attack Chin, so Xena, using the power of Loa Ma, must stand against the army alone;
  • In God Fearing Child, Zeus finds out that Xena’s baby will bring about the Twlight of the Gods, so he decides she must die, so they steal Hades’ Helmet of Invisibility as Hercules vows to protect her;
  • Eternal Bonds sees the gods continue to pursue Xena in order to kill the baby, and during the fighting, Joxer is wounded by a poisonous arrow;
  • In Amphipolis Under Siege, Xena takes her daughter, Eve, to meet her grandmother in Amphipolis, and while there Athena decides to lay siege on the village until they give up the baby, so Cyrene and villagers support Xena in defiance against Athena;
  • In Lifeblood, Xena receives a vision that the Amazons have strayed from their roots, so they summon the Utma, a woman from the future, who will lead their people;
  • Looking Death in the Eye sees Xena use a plan to fake their deaths so that way the gods will cease their quest to kill Eve, unfortunately, Ares believes they are dead, and entombs them at Mount Aetna;
  • In Livia, it is twenty-five years into the future, and Eve is now Livia, a Roman warrior and protégée of Ares, as Xena and Gabrielle wake from their tombs, they find Joxer married to Meg, and Xena must face Livia in battle;
  • Eve sees Livia, after her defeat from Xena, taking her troops and killing whole villages, so Joxer stands up to her, but she kills him. Ultimately, after Xena prays to Eli to save her, he shows Livia a vision; and,
  • Motherhood features the epic battle between Xena, and the Gods of Olympus. (The parallels between Xena, Callisto, and Eve became apparent when Xena says to Gabrielle, “she’s lost – just as I was.”)

According to the Xenaville review of Fallen Angel:

Ides of March had such a shocking ending that this was always going to be a big episode. How do you get round the fact that S4 ended with Xena and Gabrielle dying on the cross? Well here we have a heavenly battle between good and evil for Xena and Gabrielle, while Joxer, Amarice and Eli are trying to look after their bodies. Lots of special effects in this one with angels and devils, Callisto, and quite a few surprises too.

According to the Xenaville review of Chakram:

With Xena and Gabrielle back among the living, things should be fine, but Xena has somehow forgotten her dark warrior past. Ares and local war god Kal and the broken chakram are all involved in this story, which sees a new outfit and weapons for Gabrielle and a new chakram for Xena!

According to the Xenaville review of Them Bones, Them Bones:

Alti is back, as are some of the Amazons for Sin Trade part 3! More spiritual battles, deerskins and some impressive CGI skeltons in a Jason and the Argonauts style fight scene as Alti tries to steal Xena`s baby`s soul.

The episode opens with a nightmare for Xena. She realises that something is very wrong and she travels back to see the young Amazons she met in ‘Adventures in the Sin Trade’. When she gets there, Xena realises that it is Alti, who has somehow managed to regain her power in the spirit realm. Gabrielle is the one who offers to go through the ritual to become a shamen as Xena is not able to this time. However, after all her deer hunting, Gabrielle is no match for Alti and nearly dies. They realise they need the power of all the Amazons and that Yakut is the one who inadvertantly released Alti. With the help of the Amazons, Xena tricks Alti into a fight between their spirits – the skelton fight. Thankfully it works!

According to the Xenaville review of Purity:

Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer go to Chin once again and come up against Lao Ma`s twin daughters in The Debt part 3! Quite a few flashback clips of The Debt, as Xena must work out which daughter is the true successor to Lao Ma. There is some nice comic relief as Joxer again proves what a buffoon he is by almost getting blown up while trying to recreate black powder (gunpowder basically.) Xena bonds with the 2 daughter quite a bit who are played by the same actress – managing to look VERY different as the two. Lots of fancy pyrotechnics in the final explosive battle as Lao Ma`s powers come up against the black powder.

According to the Xenaville review of Back in the Bottle:

Another great Chin episode sees the evil Green Dragon, Ming Tien, return to help the warlord Khan(Ghengis?) try to take over the world! He teams up with another dead person, Pao Ssu from ‘Purity’ – the previous episode. Gabrielle gets an admirer for the first time in ages, while Xena works on her super powers. In a clever finale, we find out how the famed Terra Cotta Warriors were REALLY made!

According to the Xenaville review of God Fearing Child:

Xena gives birth in this one that is also notable for the return of Kevin Sorbo to the Xenaverse!
As Xena prepares to give birth, Hercules arrives to protect her and her unborn child from Zeus in an emotionally charged and highly anticipated episode. Zeus learns from the Fates that Xena`s baby, who was “not begotten by man,” will bring about the twilight of the gods, and he orders her death. When Hercules finds out, he vows to protect her at all costs. Hercules searches for a dagger made from the rib of Chronos-the only weapon that can kill his father. He is determined to protect Xena`s child, even if it means defying his father Zeus and siding with his step mother Hera, his sworn enemy for years. Meanwhile, Gabrielle and Xena travel to the underworld to capture Hades’ helmet of invisibility and meet with Solan…

According to the Xenaville review of Eternal Bonds:

Joxer gets struck by a poisoned arrow when trying to help Xena and her child escape from more attackers out to kill her baby. While Gabrielle tries to get him to the antidote, Xena has some dream like encounters with Ares who makes her an interesting offer as three armies attack….

According to the Xenaville review of Amphipolis Under Siege:

The goddess Athena tries to destroy Xena`s baby, and when Xena, Gabrielle and Eve take shelter in Amphipolis, she builds an army determined to kill the child. Xena is forced to consider an alliance with Ares while Gabrielle marshalls the troops of villagers. A very dramatic and action packed episode.

According to the Xenaville review of Lifeblood:

Xena`s daughter Eve is to be an Amazon Princess! Xena and Gabrielle return to the tribe of the young northern amazons only to find their friend Yakut is dead – killed in a battle. Her spirit is restless however, and she communicates with Xena and tells her of a secret in the Amazons past. Meanwhile, Gabrielle is learning about the initiation rites Eve will have to go through.

This episode is mainly an excuse to use a load of footage from the unseen pilot show, ‘Amazon High’. Directed by Michael Hurst several years ago, it features Selma Blair as a 1990s American girl who is transported back to the early days of the Amazons, before they were named and before they had established themselves and their code of conduct. Cyane (Blair) comes up against an angry warrior Samasara (Cormack) who is a great hero to generations of Amazons, but her lust for revenge is what Yakut want to reveal to Xena and her tribe.

According to the Xenaville review of Looking Death in the Eye:

Season 5 is fast approaching its climax, and this is another exciting episode full of plot twists and turns, dealing with the Twilight of the Gods and Xena`s daughter, Eve.

The episode opens with Joxer as an old man obtaining a scroll that is said to be Gabrielle`s last known one. It tells the story of how Xena and Gabrielle tried to trick the Fates. The fates predict that the Twilight will not begin until Xena dies. Naturally Gabrielle is not happy at this, but Xena begins to plan. Athena returns once more, as does Hades, to try and capture Eve, and we also meet Hephaestus. After escaping from them, Xena and Gabrielle capture Death herself, Celesta. It appears that Xena intends to banish death and make herself and Eve immortal, however the plan is scuppered when Gabrielle is captured by Athena. A trade is made – Gabrielle for Celesta and Xena and Gabrielle make a run for it in a cart with Eve in the back. But Athena, Hades and Hephaestus trap them once again…..

According to the Xenaville review of Livia:

After being frozen for 25 years (make sure you have seen the previous episode Looking Death in the Eye, Xena and Gabrielle emerge to discover baby Eve all grown up and known as a Roman named Livia – and not a very nice girl either. They meet an old Joxer – now married to Meg (another make up job for Lucy) and running the first theme pub! He has Argo’s daughter – conveniently enough – so Xena has her horse back, sort of. He also has a very handsome son named Virgil, who accompanies them to Rome to find Eve. There, Xena realises Octavius is Augustus Caesar, and he intends to marry Eve – now known as Livia, who is a Roman warrior, specialising in killing the followers of Eli.Xena wonders if she can ever get HER daughter back….

According to the Xenaville review of Eve:

After meeting Eve (Adrienne Wilkinson) in last week`s episode, Xena must try and stop her daughter from hurting others and following in her mothers’ footsteps(herself AND Callisto..) Things are not looking too hopeful when Livia takes a platoon of Roman soldiers to do Ares bidding and slaughter any of Eli`s followers. Seeing the carnage, Xena wonders whether she may have to kill her own daughter…

After Livia kills someone very close to all of them, it is looking more likely that it will come down to a fight between Xena and her wicked child, but can Xena kill her own child?

According to the Xenaville review of Motherhood:

The season 5 finale is another exciting episode. After Eve’s epiphany last week, Xena and Gabrielle follow her as she takes herself off to mope. Gabrielle is still upset with her over Joxer`s death and not totally committed to helping her. Xena though, knows what is is like to have done unforgivable things, and to be forgiven. Meanwhile, Athena is rallying the Olympians. She sets up a cunning plan: to send the Furies, not after Xena, but to Gabrielle, to prey on her doubts about Eve. Ted Raimi is back as the young Joxer to tell Gabrielle to kill Eve, Renee O’Connor gets back into the BGSB and long wig to play Hope, also urging her mommy to finish off Eve – as Xena never will.

As Gabrielle is pushed into attacking Eve, Ares arrives to distract Xena, for now it appears that Xena has the power to kill a god! Somehow, Eve gives her the power to kill `em all! The twilight is coming! Xena is forced to hurt Gabrielle to stop her killing Eve, and with the pair badly wounded, Ares and Aphrodite step in. Aphrodite wants to help – good old Dite! Ares is less altruistic. Surprise, surprise! It all builds to a terrific climax on Mount Olympus as Xena and Athena battle it out, as Eve and Gabrielle’s lives hang in the balance…

 

The Worst:

Little Problems, Lyre Lyre Hearts On Fire, and Married With Fishsticks

Lp_helpingdaphne

In small portions:

According to the Xenaville review of Little Problems:

Sounds like a fanfic story, but is another in the “Lucy is pregnant, what shall we do!” storylines…Aphrodite causes Xena and a young girl named Daphne to swap bodies, only doesn’t get it quite right. They end up trapped in the same body. Young Rose McIver gets to play the Warrior Princess while Gabrielle and Aphrodite go hunting for a way to fix things. A fun episode, although some of the humour is a bit close to the knuckle at times when Gabrielle and Aphrodite dress up as twins Brun and Hilde and go oil wrestling!

According to the Xenaville review of Lyre, Lyre, Hearts On Fire:

A remarkable rock musical episode, quite different from ‘The Bitter Suite.’ Xena and Gabrielle organise a musical contest to see who will win Terpsicord’s lyre after Draco and the Amazons can’t decide who owns it. Joxer’s brother Jace is a camp disco queen who is a real hoot, and the musical numbers are mainly well known songs rather than originals. Gabrielle’s go-go bikini should cause a few heart flutters! Takes a little getting used to, but a huge heap of fun!

According to the Xenaville review of Married With Fishsticks:

Gabrielle is hit on the head and falls into the sea. She somehow enters a strange parallel universe under the sea where she appears to be married to Hagar – who looks exactly like Joxer – and Gabrielle is a mermaid with three half fish children! Loosely based on the Goldie Hawn movie Overboard, this lame comedy features very little Lucy Lawless. Officially “The Worst Episode Ever” TM (well..kind of officially.)

 

Ides_of_March_06

The next in best and worst is Season 4.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 5

  1. Pingback: The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 4 | The Progressive Democrat

  2. Pingback: The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 3 | The Progressive Democrat

  3. Pingback: The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 2 | The Progressive Democrat

  4. Pingback: The Best and Worst of Xena Warrior Princess: Season 1 | The Progressive Democrat

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