On Ultraviolet

Even though Æon Flux was not a terrible movie, Ultraviolet was in it’s entirety, utterly painful to watch, excruciatingly painful. It’s may be better not watching at all. It features Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element) as Violet Song Jat Shariff.

According to The Empire review:

It’s the late 21st century and normal humans war with those turned into vampires by a bio-engineered virus. As one of the few vamps left, Violet (Jovovich) infiltrates a secret government facility to steal the humans’ ultimate weapon: a nine-year-old boy.

Kurt Wimmer’s previous film, the underrated Equilibrium, was a derivative tale but showcased the director’s eye for action with spectacularly choreographed sequences. This follow-up, set in a similarly dystopian future, shows what can happen when such potential is beaten unconscious, stuffed in a suitcase and buried alive beneath 100 tons of concrete.

It’s only 87 minutes long, but every second of Ultraviolet feels like a month in detention. All meaningful narrative is disposed of in an excruciating voiceover, leaving it impossible to underthink the first-draft nonsense that passes for a story here. Which would be bad enough if the action were impressive, but even the elaborate martial arts prove awkwardly shot and stultifyingly repetitive.

It’s actually quite an achievement that even during the major set-pieces Wimmer fails to generate a single moment of real engagement. Things don’t improve when the dust settles either, as this is when the characters start talking, twisting their tongues around dialogue so consistently bad, it sounds like a poorly translated dub track. The CG is low-grade, the characters atom-thin, the costumes clichéd and the sets devoid of inspiration. In fact, there’s so little that’s right with Ultraviolet, finding fault is almost redundant. Arse of the highest (lowest?) order.

Unengaging, uninspired and unwatchable. A criminal waste of time and talent.

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3 thoughts on “On Ultraviolet

  1. Pingback: On Resident Evil | The Progressive Democrat

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